So I’ve been in that place again – feeling disorganised and unmotivated about maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I still love working out once I’m actually in the gym and doing it, and it feels fantastic once it’s done. But I’ve had a bit of trouble recently ignoring those voices that tell you how much more fun it would be to stay in bed for the evening and watch RuPauls Drag Race. Not to mention those Double Coat TimTams calling my name. Overall, my nutrition hasn’t been that bad, but rather than reaching my goal of eating well 80% of the time, it’s been a bit closer to 50%. This has resulted in me putting on a few pounds, taking me to what feels like where it was when I started. It has been incredibly frustrating, leading to a few more tears than I’m willing to admit.
I was feeling alright about being a bit thicker; my bum was juicier and my other half definitely didn’t complain about the extra junk in the trunk. But when my bras don’t feel like they fit properly and I’m finding it very tight in clothing that was pretty loose just the beginning of this year – it’s very hard. I don’t want to be that girl that cries about her appearance. I’ve been there, it’s not fun and it’s never rewarding. You only get one body in this life, and it’s so important to treasure it. But I felt like I’d been letting myself down in so many ways, as I wasn’t giving myself the proper fuel to help me live the active lifestyle I would like. After a good sob, I made a promise to myself right then and there that I was going to make a change. I went to the gym on Saturday and enjoyed a healthy lunch, then on Sunday did the Bondi to Coogee coastal walk, which did me the world of good. It literally felt like the sea air blew all my stress away, and I was ready to start this week afresh.
Since then, I have restarted Kayla Itsines’ BBG and managed to go to the gym several times, including once on my lunch break at work. I was concerned about how I would manage to do it in the hour that I have, but it worked out pretty well. Certainly enough time for some cardio or a HIIT session. I’m being more thoughtful about what I am eating, and thinking more about whether that Nutella Brownie is really worth it. The important thing for me to remember is that it’s about balance. But actual balance, not “Oh it’s OK if this is my 3rd brownie this week” balance. I’ve made a healthy breakfast each day that I can grab in the morning and eat at my desk, and it’s really made a difference so far. It has given me the energy to start my day, and kept me full until lunch. I’m going to focus on eating salads with plenty of veggies for lunch, as the thought of a hot meal in this increasing spring heat is horrible.
The most frustrating feeling is knowing that I have the tools, the knowledge, and the potential to be living my healthiest life, but I don’t seem to be putting it into practice. I know I can do this – I’ve done it before. I just have to remind myself that this road is a marathon, not a sprint, and I will get there. It just takes time.